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  • Writer's pictureRinda Blom

Why emotional intelligent children are happier - Dr Rinda Blom

Pictures from the Find the feeling emotional intelligence game

Emotional intelligent children show more agreeableness, are more considerate, kind, helpful, altruistic and more reciprocal in relationships. They are aware of their emotions and have appropriate skills to manage different emotions effectively. Open discussions about emotions takes place in their household and vulnerability is used as an opportunity to grow and improve emotional intimate relationships with important people in their lives.

Children have an increased need for connection in today's over-scheduled lives. The single most important issue that comes up again and again in my practice, is their need to spend individual time with their parents. Parents are often overloaded, irritable and tired at the end of a work day. Many important opportunities to model and discuss appropriate ways for managing different emotions are lost, as a result of children noticing that their parents are not available to listen, mirror their emotions and act as emotional mentors. In my doctoral research studies, I found that a twelve-week play therapy programme, addressing the different emotional intelligence skills that children need to master, made a huge different in symptoms, such as chronic headaches, stomaches, anxiety and anger outbursts in children. Since then, these programmes have been implemented in many schools in South-Africa with positive results.

Improving children's emotional intelligence is not as such a matter of the mind, than a matter of the heart. Parent's direct and indirect modelling is the single most important aspect, proven by research to positively or negatively influence children's emotional intelligence through out their childhood.

In the upcoming emotional intelligence workshop in Bloemfontein on 18-19 May, I will share the what, how and when of improving children's emotional intelligence. As a gift from my heart, every parent, educator and therapist attending the workshop, will receive the Find The Feeling Emotional Intelligence Card game (worth R250) free of charge. In order to receive this gift, please register by Friday, May 11th. For more info and the registration form, please visit my website at

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